Long time no blog

I guess not much is going on, whatever , no wonder I dont write ( except of course for the personal emotional dilemma I am in, which is too personal to be put in words here )

Let's see....
Tuesday they had a thanksgiving meal at work, I had mama make kufta. Food was nice, but the Rosemary Bread was WONDERFUL!! also the Broccoli & cheese cassarole that our own Mary Poppins made..
Wednesday... oh what a day it was !! I was Lucky enough ( NOT!!) to have to work with Mary Poppins & Bart Simpson! omgosh !! really !! the guy never did A THING from 7 am to 12 am!! except of course checking the internet & making about 25 personal fone calls !:D And then when the big boss walks in, bart simpson starts to act all busy at work!! the funny thing is : he has a problem at his apt., ( he is so nagging, I dont know how they stand getting 20 fone calls in him in 4 hrs just to fix the roof ) , anyway, his wife came in, argues with him & said : " u know what ur problem is? ur problem is that you are too D**** nice!!!!!" Omg !! I almost lost it when I heard that !! I almost ROFL !! seriously ! nice? that is not a word I - or anyone for that matter- would use to describe our dear big Simpson!
of course Having Mary P. in there didn't make the shift any pleasant either! I spent the time persistantly silent! I did check my schedule too, And for the next 2-3 weeks, i wouldn't have to work with either of them ( Thank u , Lord )

Yesterday, thursday, was Thanksgiving. I woke up LATE!! Oh how I needed the rest!! I am eternally tired lately! anyway, I made banana pudding since S..mom was coming to stay a lil while with us, since they all were going to the In-laws thanksgiving dinner & the woman felt she does not fit in,so S. asked me if her mom can come & then go with us to church. we do , and also I have stopped by S.Higg house the day b4, and she asked me if she could come & bring the Indonesian muslim man that lives with her.. I told her they r more than welcom of course."not expecting them to show up!!" .. anyway, here I

Psalms.........

one of my ever favorite Books of the Bible.............

The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
I was Facing death, and then he saved me.116:6

Since mom came, I have downloaded zillion Sermons for Dr.Maher Samuel & Magdy Samuel from the internet. WONDERFUL WONDERFUL sermons. The thing is, sometimes I dont want to listen because I dont want to be reprimended !! some of what they say is so condemning that i even start to doubt if God even considers me his child :( oh God .... I am wandering ... Bring me back to You !
Now we r listening to a sermon about Moses & The Isrealities & how the complained...

I feel like them a lot of times :( I dont want the mana , I want the salwa !!it is more appealing !!

ufffffffffffffffffffffffffff

I am at work now, and in the grumpiest mood ever!!
it seems just because I am nice, ppl tend to take advantage of me all the time!! I feel like going to the manager tomorrow & opening the can of worms!!! I mean, if no one hesitates to go & stab me in the back if I make the slightest mistake, why wouldnt I - not stab anybody in the back- but at least demand not to be given more than my share ???!!!!
I think I am becomung more of a loner now. as much as i love being with ppl,if I can find a job where I can work all alone by myself, I would be so happy

the funny thing, that is starting to be an attitude : I go to the grocery store & choose the self-checkout line. I go to the gas station, I choose the self-service & pay outside. EVEN when I go to the library, I choose to check the books for myself !!! I dont know what is wrong with me lately, but if I can save myself one less conversation & the pleasantaries involved, I never hesitate to do it!

Verse on my mind :
"Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today & forever " Amen !!

one silly thing happened today, we called H. since Asees is in egypt & mom needed some medicine, so I wanted to remind him of the names of the drugs ( when I called, the first thing mom wanted me to ask him while I was saying hello, she said : ask him if he had supper !! my funny mom! I answered her : well, he has taken an oath on himself not to have supper till u go back to him after 6 months !! ) I mean , she is going to be away for at least 6 months, does she has to worry evernight if he had supper or not? what about the 2 other meals ?;)) besides, for goodness sake, he is not a 6 years old !! but then again , she is a mom, worrying is part of the job *sigh*
Anyway, back to the story, I told him we need this & we need that....... he said ok .. ok ...
then later in the evning, I was checking my mobile, I found he had sent me a msg. He never sent msgs except for business purposes. This time he wrote :" eza kan habeebak 3asal, matel7asoosh kollo" . and the funny thing when he wrote the proverb, he translated it into english, so I was like : what on earth is that ??? then I realised what he mean !! I am still laughing...that silly brother of mine !! sometimes I want to practically kill him, then he does something as adorable that makes me forgive all his shortcoming " if only SHE would be similar, but never... it is just take take take & never give "!!!!

Song for the day .....

I know this is starting to look like a songbook more than a blog .... still ..... i usually hear music in my ears ! i cant live without it! i scribble songs all day long ... here is the one that has been ringing in my ear all day long " a Favorite one too"


1. Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.


o Lord !!! O LORD !!! Prone is an understatment!! i feel at my worst lateley ...:(

if clouds are the dust of HIS feet

if clouds are the dust of HIS feet
then He was so close to me today "quote"

it's not easy to be me...

How true is that !!!
they keep playing light 98 at work ( Better than the classic rock that gives me a headache that they insist on sometimes )
I am falling in Love with this david Gray's song :

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
the better part of me.

I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
and it's not easy to be me.
I Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees F
ind a way to lie about a home I'll never see.
It may sound absurd
but don't be naive
even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
but won't you concede
even heroes have the right to dream
and it's not easy to be me.
Up up and away, a
way from me,
well it's all right,
you can all sleep sound tonight,
I'm not crazy...or anything.
I can't stand to fly,
I'm not that naive,
men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees
I 'm only a man in a silly red sheet
digging for kryptonite on this one-way street
Only a man in a phony red sheet
looking for special things inside me
Inside me... Inside me... Yeah, inside of me.. Inside of me....
I'm only a man in a phony red sheet
I'm only a man looking for a dream
I'm only a man in a phony red sheet
and it's not easy... It's not easy to be me...